BEING THE BRIDGE BETWEEN

BEING THE BRIDGE BETWEEN

A goodbye to my favorite foster of all time

As I sit here on my bed, laptop on my lap writing this out, my foster puppy, Cream Cheese, lies beside me with her little body as close to mine as possible. She just spent the last few minutes of consciousness playing with toys before snuggling up and calling it a night. She has slept in my bed for the last couple of months - something I don't usually allow with my foster dogs. I’ve fostered close to 200 animals, and every now and then there is a special one that gets to bend the “rules”. 

Now hold on a second. Before we get too far ahead, I need to address the elephant in the room… Why is the dog named “Cream Cheese?” 

It’s a wild story. One that began in December of 2025. My friend and I were driving out to visit a shelter when we passed two dogs on the side of the road that looked deceased. We always pass dogs on the road. Rural South Carolina has a serious problem with dogs at large - both strays and dogs whose owners let them loose. The two dogs we passed looked like they were dead - lying flat on the ground in front of an old mechanic shop. I immediately acknowledged them, and my friend insisted we turned around to check. Thank gosh we did. We turned around and the dogs popped up - proving that they were very much alive and had just been sleeping in the sun. We immediately got out and quickly learned they were not friendly. The male growled at us and the female stayed as far away as she could. All that we had in the car was a “lox bagel” from Ruby’s Bagels. I tore what was left into many pieces and tossed it to the dogs. After many minutes of bribing and some quick thinking, we were able to get slip leads on the dogs and load them into the truck. While doing so, a woman approached us and told us she had been feeding these “street dogs” for months, hoping to earn their trust. She couldn’t believe we caught them. If it weren’t for her persistence with providing them with food every day, these dogs wouldn’t have trusted us enough to get close enough for us to capture them. 

Once they were in the car, they were much more friendly. It was like their “wild” instincts had been switched off and they became domesticated again. We took them straight to the vet. The female had some balance issues that concerned us. Once at the vet, we had to come up with names for their profiles. It was an easy decision… we landed on “Lox” for the male, and “Bagel” for the female.

The vet visit went alright. The dogs had some minor concerns but nothing we couldn’t handle. I kept them in the bridge building - a converted shed in my backyard - until fosters could be found. Christmas time was quickly approaching and fosters hadn’t stepped up yet. I decided at the last minute to take them back home to visit my family for the holidays. That was an interesting phone call, but thankfully my parents obliged. They got to spend Christmas in a home - maybe for the first time ever. When we got back from the holidays, it was time for a follow up at the vet. The dogs were doing great, however, it was clear that Bagel was growing larger - more so than a normal good diet would do. We decided to do radiographs which confirmed that Bagel was indeed pregnant. 

She went into labor not long after that visit but had an abnormal green discharge. A quick drive to the emergency vet confirmed my fears - she was having complications due to an infection in the uterus. She had to have an immediate cesarean surgery. Six puppies were born via c-section. The seventh puppy had passed in utero which is what was causing the infection. Had Bagel not been captured by us, she would have remained on the streets, and every single puppy as well as Bagel herself would have died from sepsis. The universe really wanted these sweet souls to make it earth-side, and the stars really aligned for them to be here. I am forever thankful our paths crossed so that they could have a chance to live.

I wish it was all rainbows and butterflies after that, but sadly, it was not. The first couple of days were really hard for the puppies. Bagel had milk, but her teets were abnormally large and hard for the puppies to latch onto. The runt - who I was calling Cream Cheese - was losing weight which is NOT a good sign in neonates. They can decline and pass extremely quickly. I had never bottle fed puppies so young before, but I had to quickly learn. Thankfully for me, she was hungry - hungry for fuel and hungry for life - she wanted to live. 

Those first few weeks were the toughest weeks of the entirety of my rescue experience. Not only was I waking up all hours of the night to supplemental feed Cream Cheese, (and the rest of the puppies as needed), but I had another litter of puppies - who were crazy enough also born via c-section - and they too were having complications. Three of them passed away tragically. And on top of the struggles I was facing with my foster dogs, I had a lot of other things affecting my normal day to day life. My good friend who had been helping me with admin duties for the rescue decided to step down to pursue something else, leaving me with 100% of the workload of the organization. I was in the early stages of a new career change that was a big adjustment for myself, and I also had undiagnosed health issues that were making it hard to get through every day. It was a very, very dark time in my life. Exhaustion. Heartbreak. Grief. Stress. And caring for two sick litters of puppies was my breaking point. I would sit on the floor and just weep, telling myself I couldn’t do it anymore. My motto became  “One day at a time”. I told myself, “when this is over, I’m done”. And I believed it. I truly believed that my mind was made up. I was going to be done with rescue as soon as all of the puppies who survived found homes. 

I spent weeks fighting. Fighting for them and fighting for myself. Fighting to not quit. Long before this time period, I had felt burn out for rescue approaching. This was just the final straw. As much as I didn’t want to, I pushed rescue away. I grasped onto anything not rescue related. Between the stress from the rescue and the personal things going on in my life, I was struggling. My goal for the next couple of months was to survive. Survive caring for these puppies, survive work, survive my health issues, and survive not letting the organization burn to the ground in the process. I was beyond my capacity. I wanted nothing more than for it all to hurry up and be over so I could be done like I had promised myself. 

Little did I know that there would be an angel on earth in the middle of all of this. One that was already there the moment I carried Bagel off of that rural street. One I would meet soon after. That little white puppy with the black spot. The runt of the litter. The one who should have died. The one who wanted to live. She had a purpose and knew she needed to fulfil it - so she fought to do so. And every single day, her resilience rubbed off on me. I was in awe of her. I couldn’t even take credit for her survival - she wanted it, I just helped. I found myself always drawn to her, and she was drawn to me. I still have a video on my phone where I point to her and say “something about this one is special”. When the puppies began to crawl, it just took the sound of my voice for her to find her way to me. With every day that passed, she grew stronger and wanted one thing - to be beside me. She would climb the sleeves on my arms just to get up to my neck. She would cry until I held her. She would sit on my lap and just snuggle up against me while all of the other puppies would play. To be so loved by something so small and fragile yet so miraculous and so powerful is a healing feeling that is hard to put into words. She brought me so much love and joy every moment I spent with her. She made ME feel special.

As the puppies approached weaning age, I knew I would keep fostering her through adoption and send the others off to their own foster homes. I was so excited to foster her. I hadn’t felt excitement about anything related to rescue in a long time. Cream Cheese had spent weeks in our bridge building, and I couldn’t wait until she could come into my home like a real foster. That day finally came and it didn’t take long for her to fit right in. I knew quickly I was in trouble - my heart was going to want to keep this one. 

Cream Cheese came into my life 142 days ago. She came into my home 67 days ago. And I thought I loved her before… but in those last 67 days, she completely stole my heart. She fit in so well with my dogs. She was great with my cats. She picked up our routine. She loved going out to the yard for potty and play time. She loved couch snuggles. She very quickly broke the “no fosters in the bed” rule. She slept beside me every night. She was always the first thing I’d see when I’d wake up. Her eyes were always watching my every move. I often would just stare right back at her because she was just so cute with her little spots and her one blue and one brown eye. Everything she did, she did with love and happiness. Her tail - even though it was crooked (she was born that way) - was always wagging. She never barked. She loved going to the vet. She was great in the car. When we would go out in public, she would wag her tail and kiss every person she’d meet. She always eagerly wanted to meet other dogs. She was a literal angel - a breath of fresh air. So easy to love. I loved her so much, and she made me feel so loved, too. I went from wishing for this time in my life to hurry up and be over, to enjoying the moment I was in. Soaking up all of the time I had with the most angelic foster puppy.

Her first application came in at an adoption event very soon after she was officially available for adoption. I was panicking. Of course I had thought about keeping her and had been battling the logistics. I wasn’t ready to make a decision yet. I told myself I had to be fair and process the application, despite having a bad feeling. I did process it, and found out the applicant had lied about their dogs being deceased when they were indeed not. It was a very strange thing to lie about, and enough of a red flag for me to say absolutely not. She was NOT getting adopted… not yet anyway.

The weeks continued to go by. Cream Cheese and I spent so much time together. I loved taking her out in public every chance I could. She fit seamlessly into my life and my current pets’ lives, and it was just so …. easy. She reminded me that every day was a blessing.

I had so many people jokingly but also seriously say “You’re going to keep her”. And I truly didn’t know. I fought the decision every day. I could list all of my pros and cons out, but to summarize, it really came down to finances and the logistics of having a fourth dog. I just couldn’t commit. I also have a very troubled dog who is unpredictable and my biggest fear was that she would turn on Cream Cheese one day. There were so many unknowns… I truly didn’t know what to expect or what to decide. And until she got serious adoption interest, that was my decision. “I don’t know”. 

More weeks had passed, when I suddenly got a message about Cream Cheese from a past adopter. They had fallen in love with her through social media and wanted to adopt her. Their other dog is incredibly friendly and would love a companion, and they had talked about adding another set of paws to their little family. They live in Asheville, NC, quite a ways away from Charleston. Going through their application was hard for me because it suddenly became so real. I immediately envisioned it all - them getting approved, coming to adopt Cream Cheese, me handing her over, my heart shattering, her driving to Asheville, me never seeing her again. Would it really all happen that way? Probably not as heartbreakingly as I thought. I told myself once again I needed to be fair and give them a chance. So I did. And their application was perfect. Every answer to every question, their lifestyle and routine, their current dog, their home - all of it. Cream Cheese would likely do well ANYWHERE, but I knew she would be so happy in this family’s home and lives. So I approved them.

If you know me, you know I’m a believer in “what’s meant to be, will be”. I knew that the right thing to do would be to let Cream Cheese get adopted by this loving family. They could provide for her everything I could if not more. She would get TWO humans, and only have to share her love for them with one other dog who would become her best friend. I had to have faith that if for some reason it wasn’t meant to be, it would fall through. But as each day passed, I realized… it wasn’t going to fall through. 

So here I lay now, on my bed, Cream Cheese still beside me an hour later after I first started writing. She’s woken up a few times just to come kiss my face and I just cry. I laugh and then I cry. I feel like it is the last night with my dog. She feels like my dog. She has been my dog for the last 67 days. 

But that’s what fostering is. Fostering is opening your home up to save a life. It’s treating that life as if they were your own family. Loving them the way you love your own. Giving them a place to heal and grow - physically and emotionally. And it’s saying goodbye. Even when it is hard. Even when you don’t want to but know you have to. 

The Bridge Between. It’s what I named my rescue because of my belief in being the bridge between an animal’s past and their future. I came up with it after saying goodbye to one of my foster dogs. I bawled my eyes out, and my mom asked me, “why do you keep doing this?” My answer was, because I’m meant to. I’m meant to be the bridge that got them from one place to the next. I am the reason they’re where they are now and where they’re heading. I helped them get here from the hell that they came from. 

My bridge between decided to go to the shelter on that day in December. My bridge between saw Bagel and Lox on the side of the road and didn’t give up on capturing them. My bridge between took them home for their first Christmas with a real family. My bridge between took care of Bagel as she fought through a complicated pregnancy. My bridge between woke up all hours of the night to feed the puppies that would’ve died without me. My bridge between drove to the emergency vet and back more times than I can count when a life was slipping through the cracks. My bridge between nurtured each puppy until they moved to their own foster homes. My bridge between loved and cared for Cream Cheese so deeply throughout her 67 days in my home after she was weaned from her mom. And my bridge between will cry tomorrow as I hand her over to her adopters to start her next chapter - and her best one yet. I’ve done this so many times. Very rarely does it hurt like this, and it sure as hell isn’t easy, but I have to remind myself why I do this. 

I am their bridge between. 

As I reflect on the last six months of this year - the hardest six months I’ve ever had in rescue, I realize why Cream Cheese was so special. She brought something back that I had lost - my love of rescue. 

She resurfaced the young girl who spent her Saturdays volunteering at the humane society. The college student who wanted to start fostering. The young adult who decided fostering wasn’t enough and wanted to start her own rescue. The young woman who has saved over 600 animals with that rescue because it is her passion and her purpose in this life. 

Someone commented on one of my videos of Cream Cheese and said that there was a saying about a dog that has one blue eye. That their souls are tied between heaven and earth. I truly believe that with every fiber of my being. I believe Cream Cheese came to earth with a purpose. She fought to fulfill it. And she did. Now she gets to enjoy being adopted and living her best life with a family who will love and cherish her as much as they've done for the dog they adopted from us three years ago. They promise to keep in touch, and I promise I will see Cream Cheese again. And deep down, I know… if she is meant to be with me forever, she will find her way back to me. Regardless, our souls are forever tied together, and my life is forever changed thanks to this foster. It was an absolute honor to be her bridge between.